Kids, Food, and Other Reasons to Yank Out My Hair

I hate food.

Well, that is not true. I love food. I just hate preparing food.

Well, no. That is not entirely accurate, either. I love preparing food for those who appreciate the effort and the joys of eating good food. Basically -- I do not like cooking for my kids. It does not matter what I make, all I hear is: "I don't like that. Can I make a sandwich instead?"

So now, I make supper for my husband and I, and I tell the kids to make sandwiches. Is this even appreciated? No. Now I hear: "I don't want sandwiches...I want something good for supper." And for those of you without children, "something good" equals Macaroni and Cheese mixed with a can of beans. *sigh*

Supper is not the only meal of the day that I dread to the core of my being. Lunch, the one meal I have no choice but prepare, is also pretty brutal. Let me give you an example: I was making sandwiches for lunch this morning for the first day of school. I hear: "I don't want jam. I don't like jam."

So I put the jam away and got out the bolona. "I don't want bolona." so I put the bolona away and bring out the deli meats (turkey/corned beef/ham).

"I don't like those either." At this point, I sighed and made the mistake of asking what they wanted for lunch. "Peanut Butter and Banana."

Again, for those of you without kids: Peanut Butter is a no-no at school. And we don't have any bananas.

I sighed and went on with making them a deli meat wrap with mozerella cheese (that they don't like, btw), cheese slices (which they only like in grilled cheese sandwiches I learned this morning), and cucumbers, which they didn't want in a sandwich because that's apparently quite gross. Silly me.

The lunch woes don't stop at the sandwich, though! Oh no. I also packed them pears which I cored and sliced for them. Apparently they only like their APPLES cored and sliced and peeled, they like to eat their pears whole.

They were given a handful of their favourite chips: "But mommy! I don't like that flavour!!! What flavour is that, anyways?" *deep sigh*

They argued over what colour sucker was the best colour. This discussion actually came to blows.

They got a yogurt, which started an argument over whether the yogurts were stirred or fruit-on-the-bottom which my kids -- are you ready for this? -- don't like. This discussion also came to blows. Mostly delivered by me.

And so insued the argument over spoons....one wanted plastic, one wanted metal, one said that metal spoons were banned from school, one said that plastic spoons were banned from school, one said neither were banned from school. I took the spoons away and told them to use their fingers. They just stared at me.

Is it any wonder I don't cook for my kids? And I get to do it again tomorrow morning. And the morning after that, and the morning after that, and the morning.....you get the idea.

And for those of you who might suggest that I let my children make their own lunches, don't. I gave it a good 3 weeks. It ended abruptly when I got a call from the school with a helpful, sympathetic secretary offering the numbers of the local food banks. *shudder*

I hate food.